Grey's Anatomy Quotes Season 1

 A Hard Day's Night [1.1]

Meredith: [voiceover] The game, they say a person either has what it takes to play, or they don't. My mother was one of the greats. Me on the other hand, I'm kind of screwed.

Derek: This is ...

Meredith: ... humiliating on so many levels. You have to go.

Derek: Why don't you just come back down here and we'll pick up where we left off?

Meredith: You know, we don't have to do the thing.

Derek: Oh, we can do anything you want.

Meredith: No, the thing! Exchange the details, pretend we care.

Meredith: Look, I'm going to go upstairs and take a shower, OK? And when I get back down here, you won't be here. So goodbye, um... {loooong silence}

Derek: Derek.

Meredith: Derek! Right, Meredith.

George: I'm George. Uh, O'Malley, uh... We met at the mixer, and you were the girl with the black dress with a slit up the side and the strappy sandals.

[Meredith and Cristina exchange a look]

George: Right. Now you think I'm gay.

Cristina: That's the Nazi?

George: I thought the Nazi would be a man.

Meredith: I thought the Nazi would be a Nazi.

Izzie: Maybe it's professional jealousy. Maybe she's brilliant and they call her a Nazi because they're jealous. Maybe she's nice.

Cristina: Let me guess - you're the model.

[Izzie glares at Cristina and turns to Bailey]

Izzie: Hi, I'm Isobel Stevens, but everyone just calls me Izzie.

Bailey: I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule number one, don't bother sucking up. I already hate you, that's not going to change.

Katie Bryce: You are so lost.

Meredith: I am not lost. Okay?

Meredith: Just go to sleep.

Katie Bryce: I can't sleep, my head's all full.

Meredith: That's called thinking. Go with it.

George: So your by-pass surgery tomorrow with Dr. Burke. I hear he's good. And after that you can have all the bacon flavored soy product you can eat.

Mr. Savitch: Mmm. Kill me now.

George: I wish I could but I'm a healer.

Meredith: If I hadn't taken the Hippocratic Oath, I would Kevorkian her with my bare hands.

George: This shift is a marathon, not a sprint. Eat.

Izzie: I can't.

George: You should eat something.

Izzie: You try eating after performing 17 rectal exams. The Nazi hates me.

George: The Nazi's a resident. I have attendings hating me.

Meredith: [Meredith and Cristina talking about McDreamy while researching the medical case of pageant contestant] You can't make face, comment, or react in any way. [pause] We had sex.

Cristina: ... [silence] What about an aneurysm?

Meredith: No blood in the CT...

Cristina: No drug use. No pregnancy. No trauma. [pause] Was he good? He looks like he'd be good. Was he any good?

Cristina: Katie competes in beauty pageants.

Derek: I know that, but we have to save her life anyway.

Cristina: You know don't be, don't do me any, don't do me any favors, its fine.

Meredith: Cristina!

Cristina: You know what, you did a cut-throat thing, deal with it. Don't come to me for absolution. You want to be a shark, be a shark.

Meredith: I'm not a shark.

Cristina: Oh, oh, oh yes you are. Only it makes you feel bad in your warm gooey places.

George: 007. They're calling me 007, aren't they?

Meredith and Izzie: No-one's calling you 007.

George: I was on the elevator and Murphy whispered 007.

Cristina: Okay, how many times are we going to go through this, George? Five, ten? Give me a number or else I'm going to hit you.

George: Murphy whispered 007 and everyone laughed.

Izzie: He wasn't talking about you.

George: Are you sure?

Meredith: Would we lie to you?

George: Yes.

Cristina: [referring to George] Total 007.

Izzie: 007? What's 007?

Meredith: Licensed to kill.

Meredith: Did you let me scrub in for this operation because I slept with you?

Derek: Yes. [silence] Just kidding!

Burke: The only person that can keep a promise that big is God, and I haven't seen him holding a scalpel lately.

Meredith: We should forget it ever happened.

Derek: What? You sleeping with me last night? Or you throwing me out this morning? Because both are fond memories I'd like to hang on to.

Meredith: No, there will be no more memories. I'm not the girl in the bar anymore and you're not the guy. This can't exist. You get that right?

Derek: You took advantage of me and now you want to forget it?

Meredith: I did not take--

Derek: I was drunk, vulnerable and good looking and you took advantage.

Meredith: Okay, I was the one who was drunk and you are NOT that good looking.

Derek: Maybe not today, but last night I was very good looking. I had on my red shirt, my good looking shirt and you took advantage.

Meredith: I did not!

Derek: Would you like to take advantage again, say Friday night?

Meredith: Stop looking at me like that.

Dr. Shepherd: Like what?

Meredith: Like you've seen me naked.

Cristina: You should get some sleep, you look like crap.

Meredith: I look better than you.

Cristina: That's not possible.

Meredith: [voiceover] I can't think of a single reason why I should be a surgeon, but I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit. They make it hard on purpose. There are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it's more than just a game, and you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit but here's the thing, I love the playing field.

The First Cut is the Deepest [1.2]

Meredith: [voiceover] It's all about lines. The finish line at the end of residency, waiting in line for a chance at the operating table, and then there’s the most important line, the line separating you from the people you work with. It doesn’t help to get too familiar to make friends. You need boundaries, between you and the rest of the world. Other people are far too messy. It’s all about lines. Drawing lines in the sand and praying like hell no one crosses them.

Bailey: Every intern wants to perform their first surgery. That's not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No! Why? Because my interns are whiny. You know what will make me look happy? Having the code team staffed, having the trauma pages answered, having the weekend labs delivered and having someone down in the pit doing the sutures. No one holds a scalpel until I'm so happy I'm Mary Freakin' Poppins.

Derek: Seattle has ferryboats.

Meredith: Yes.

Derek: I didn’t know that. I've been living here six weeks; I didn’t know there were ferryboats.

Meredith: Seattle is surrounded by water on three sides.

Derek: Hence the ferryboats. Now I have to like it here. I wasn’t planning on liking it here. I'm from New York; I'm genetically engineered to dislike everywhere except Manhattan. I have a thing for ferryboats.

Meredith: I'm not going out with you.

Derek: Did I ask you to go out with me? [silence] Do you want to go out with me?

Meredith: I'm not dating you and I'm definitely not sleeping with you again. You're my boss.

Derek: I'm your boss' boss.

Meredith: You're my teacher and my teacher's teacher. And you’re my teacher.

Derek: [murmurs] I'm your sister. I'm your daughter.

Meredith: You're sexually harassing me.

Derek: I'm riding in an elevator.

Meredith: Look, I'm drawing a line. The line is drawn. There’s a big line.

Derek: So this line... is it imaginary or do I need to get you a marker? [She jumps him and they start making out] -lift doors open- [Meredith gets off elevator, walks past people waiting]

Derek: So we'll talk later?

Burke: So we have a warrior among us.

Burke: What the- what the hell is this? Does anybody know what this is?

Meredith: Oh my god.

Burke: [holding up body part with a clamp] What is it Grey?

Meredith: She bit it off...

Burke: What is it? Spit it out, Grey.

Meredith: That's his.....penis.

Cristina: [to George] Bambi, don't say another word until AFTER the hunter shoots your mother.

George: I don't like you.

Cristina: So that's what you do? Kiss McDreamy on your bad days?

Bailey: [to Cristina] An intern was reassigned so he's mine now. Have him shadow you for the day; show him how I do things.

Alex: Alex Karev, nice to meet you.

Cristina: The pig who called Meredith a nurse. I hate you on principle.

Alex: And you're the pushy, overbearing kiss ass. I hate you too.

Cristina: Oh, this should be fun then.

Meredith: Custody of a penis?

Chief: Yes. Until the cops come for it.

Meredith: Ok, well what am I supposed to do with the penis?

Cristina: What are you doing?

Meredith: Oh, you know, just sitting here with my penis.

[Talking about Allison, the rape victim]

Cristina: George said Allison was wearing your shoes.

Meredith: Yeah. It's weird, right?

Cristina: It's weird that you care.

George: You know what you need?

Meredith: No. It’s sick and twisted. We said last time was the last time. [George makes a guilty face] You've been doing it without me?

George: Nancy Reagan lied. You can't just say no. C’mon.

Meredith: You know what would happen if anyone knew?

George: I'm doing it. You can come with me or you can stay here and be miserable.

[At the newborn babies wing]

George: Look at you! You’re so cute with your little yellow hat--

Meredith: [laughs] You are such a woman.

Izzie: I wouldn't have called you but I can't get hold of a translator. Can you just ask her what's wrong?

Cristina: No.

Izzie: Why not?

Cristina: I grew up in Beverly Hills. The only Chinese I know is from a Mr. Chow's menu. Besides, I'm Korean.

Bailey: [During surgery with the rapist who had his penis bitten off by the girl he raped] Why aren't we attempting to reattach the severed penis?

Cristina: Teeth don't slice, they tear. You can only reattach with a clean cut. If she wanted to slice him off with a knife...

Meredith: Besides, the digestive juices didn't leave much of the flesh to work with.

Bailey: Right, so what do we do?

Cristina: Sew him up minus a large part of the family tools.

Bailey: And his outlook?

Meredith: He'll be urinating out of bag for a very, very long time.

Cristina: Not to mention he'll never be able to have sex again.

Meredith: Oh, too bad.

Cristina: Shame.

Bailey: Let's all take a moment to grieve... Clamp?!

Alex: My head hurts.

Cristina: Maybe it's a tumor.

Alex: You wish I had a tumor.

Cristina: I'd rip your face off if it meant I got to scrub in.

Meredith: So the crap crime scene guy can't get out here till tomorrow. So I get to spend the night with my penis! ... Alex, don’t say it--

Alex: Aw, it was too easy anyway.

George: Who here feels like they have no idea what they're doing?

[Everyone raises their hands]

Cristina: You know, it's like there's a wall. The attendings and the residents are over there being surgeons, and we're over here being...

Meredith: Suturing, code-running lab-delivering penis minders.

Alex: I hate being an intern.

Burke: Anything you say in the next 30 seconds is free starting right now.

Bailey: I think you’re cocky. Arrogant. Bossy and pushy. You also have a god complex and don’t think of anybody but your damn self.

Burke: But I--

Bailey: But what? I still have 22 seconds and I’m not done.

Cristina: I need a drink, a man, or a massage. Or a drunken massage by a man.

George: I feel like the angel of death.

Cristina: Bambi, quit whining. 95% of the people in the code team are seriously dead or dying before you even get there.

George: Why didn't you tell me before when I was going on and on about how great it would be?!

Cristina: Because you're George, and I'm Cristina.

Derek: So we're kissing but we're not dating?

Meredith: I knew that was going to come up.

Derek: Don't get me wrong: I like the kissing. I'm all for the kissing. More kissing, I say.

Meredith: I have no idea what that was about.

Derek: Is it going to happen again? Let me know next time. I'll bring breath mints. Put a condom in my wallet.

Meredith: Shut up now.

Burke: I think you should know that Richard promised Chief to both of us. [Derek raises eyebrows in a semi-surprised way] But you already knew that...

Derek: Yeah, well, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Burke: No, you're not the enemy. You're just the competition.

Dr. Shepherd: [to a patient and rapist whose victim bit off his penis] I have good news and bad news. The good news is that Dr. Bailey managed to stop the bleeding. The bad news is that we gave your penis to the cops. Have a nice life.

Meredith: All right, George and Izzie, you can move into the house.

George and Izzie: Yes!

George: I can't believe you caved!

Meredith: I can't believe I caved.

Cristina: I blame the babies, they make you toxic.

Derek: So, it’s intense. This thing I have. For...ferry boats I mean.

Meredith: I'm so taking the stairs this time.

Derek: No self control. It’s sad. Really.

Meredith: [voiceover] At some point you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out; they fence you in. Life is messy, that's how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here's what I know. If you're willing to throw caution to the wind and take a chance, the view from the other side is spectacular.

Winning a Battle, Losing the War [1.3]

Meredith: [voiceover] We live out our lives on the surgical unit. Seven Days a week, fourteen hours a day, we're together more than we are apart. After a while, the ways of residency becomes the ways of life. Number one : Always keep score. Number two: do whatever you can to outsmart the other guy. Number three: Don't make friends with the enemy. Oh, yeah, Number four: Everything, everything is a competition. Whoever said winning wasn't everything ... Never held a scalpel.

Bailey: Fools on bikes killing themselves. Natural selection is what it is.

Cristina: It's like candy, but with blood, which is SO much better.

Mackie: No, liver cancer will kill me, smoking will just speed up the process.

Viper: You've got a nice touch. And by the way, you are a rocking' babe.

Meredith: Seriously, do you actually think you have a shot here?

Viper: I actually think I have a shot anywhere.

Meredith: Mmm. Look, you really have to let me take you for some tests. Run a CT. You could have internal bleeding.

Viper: No, thank you, I’ve got a race to get back to.

Meredith: Why? You can't win now anyway.

Viper: There’s a party at the finish line. [Whispers] You want to meet me there?

Meredith: One test. A CT. I'll have you out of here in an hour.

Viper: Can't do it, got to go.

Meredith: Okay. Well, you realize you're leaving against medical advice and I strongly urge you to stay.

Viper: 'The frat guy said I could go.

Meredith: The frat guy is an ass.

Meredith: Ok, well, you have to sign an AMA form.

Viper: I will do anything you want me to.

Meredith: What is with you guys and your need to dirty everything up?

Viper: I don't know. Maybe it’s the testosterone, eh?

Meredith: Maybe, you might want to see a doctor about that too.

Viper: [after kissing Meredith] That was for good luck. Don't worry darling', you'll see me again.

Meredith: For your sake, I hope not!

[Sees Derek glaring, furious, outside the window]

Meredith: What do you want?

Derek: You make out with patients now?

Meredith: What, are you jealous?

Derek: I don't get jealous.

Meredith: We had sex, once.

Derek: And we kissed in an elevator.

Meredith: And we kissed in an elevator, once.

Derek: No seriously. C’mon, go out with me.

Meredith: No.

Derek: You know, I almost died today. Yea I came like this close. How would you feel if I died and you didn't get a chance to go out with me?

Meredith: Get over yourself already.

Derek: C’mon!

Meredith: It’s the chase, isn't it?

Derek: What?

Meredith: The thrill of the chase. I've been wondering to myself, why are you so hell-bent on getting me to go out with you? You know you're my boss. You know it’s against the rules. You know I keep saying no. It’s the chase.

Derek: Well, its fun isn't it?

Meredith: You see! This is a game to you, but not to me. Because, unlike you, I still have something to prove.

Alex: What are you doing?

George: Hiding.

Alex: From what?

George: One of the VIP patients. He likes me.

Alex: Oh good.

George: No I mean he LIKES me, likes me.

Alex: Go for it man, get yours, I'm down with the rainbow. [George is shocked] Oh, are you not gay?

George: No.

Alex: Really? Dude, sorry.

George: Uh, Cristina, do you, do you, does Meredith think I'm gay?

Cristina: Are you?

George: No

Cristina: Really?

George: I'm not gay!

Cristina: [To Meredith, about Izzie] She's the Vice President of Fantasyland.

Burke: You do enjoy crossing the line, don't you?

Burke: [to Cristina and Meredith] This is a men's room. Either whip one out, or close the door.

Derek: You're asking my advice? Now who’s chasing who?

Meredith: Not funny, this is important.

George: You underestimate me. I'm not a baby, I'm your colleague. You don't have to manipulate me. If you want something all you have to do is ask.

Izzie: We want you to go over Burke's head to the chief.

George: Ask me something easier.

Meredith: We are so going to hell. Burke's sending us straight to hell.

Cristina: On an express train.

Izzie: George, you did good.

George: I'm going to have to dodge Burke for the rest of my career. He could kill me and make it look like an accident.

Alex: God I smell good! You know what, it's the smell of an open heart surgery. It is awesome. IT IS AWESOME. You've gotta smell me.

Meredith: I don't want to smell you.

Alex:[wrap his arms behind her] Ooh yes you do.

Meredith: [yells and grabs him , pushing him against the locker] You've gotta to be kidding me!. OK, I've got more important things to deal with than you. I've got roommates, boy-problems and family-problems. You want to act like a little frat-boy-bitch that's fine. You want to take credit for your saves and everybody else’s, that's fine too. Just stay out of my face! And for the record, YOU SMELL LIKE CRAP.

[Derek enters]

Alex: She attacked me. [Meredith runs at him again]

Derek: Meredith, Meredith [Derek stops her] You know, you might want to leave. Before I change my mind and let her beat you to a pulp with her tiny, ineffectual fists.

Izzie: I was upset. When I’m upset I like to nest.

George: I ordered Chinese food...

Meredith: I HATE Chinese food!!

Meredith: [about her new roommates, George and Izzie] They're everywhere. All the time. Izzie's all perky and George does this thing where he's helpful and considerate. They share food, and they say things, and they move things, and they breathe. Ugh, they're like, happy.

Cristina: Kick them out.

Meredith: I can't kick them out, they just moved in. I asked them to move in.

Cristina: So what, you're just going to repress everything in some deep, dark, twisted place until one day you snap and you kill them?

Meredith: Yep.

Cristina: This is why we are friends.

Meredith: You're just pissed that two women got the harvest.

Alex: I'm just pissed that anyone except me got the harvest. Boobs in no way factor into this. Unless you want to show me yours

Meredith: I'm going to become a lesbian.

Cristina: Me too.

Bailey: What are you doing?

Cristina: I'm not a people person.

Bailey: No kidding.

George: Uh, Mr. Mackie, No offense or anything, you're very handsome. But you're not, you're not my type. Because...you're a man and...Um...

Lloyd Mackie: George, I never thought you were gay

George: You didn’t?

Lloyd Mackie: Oh child, please. You? Gay? I'm sick, George, not blind.

George: Then why have you..

Lloyd Mackie: Well cause dying is a get out of jail free card. I can be as bold as I want and there's nothing anybody can say about it. So I flirt. Haven't you ever been attracted to someone you know you couldn't have?

George: Well... I... No

Lloyd Mackie: What's her name?

George: There's no, I'm not, you know this is really not... Meredith.

Lloyd Mackie: Meredith. To be young and in love.

Lloyd Mackie: [Just before surgery] Richard...you're a good friend.

Chief: Just shut up and count backwards already.

Derek: It's not the chase.

Meredith: What?

Derek: You and me. It is not the thrill of the chase. It's not a game. It's...it's your tiny ineffectual fists. And your hair.

Meredith: My hair?

Derek: It smells good. And you're very, very bossy. Keeps me in line.

Meredith: I'm still not going out with you.

Derek: You say that now.

No Man's Land [1.4]

Meredith: [voiceover] Intimacy is a four syllable word for here is my heart and soul, please grind into hamburger, and enjoy. It's both desired, and feared. Difficult to live with, and impossible to live without. Intimacy also comes attached to the three R's... relatives, romance, and roommates. There are some things you can't escape. And other things you just don't want to know.

Meredith: [Izzie is walking around with a pair of 'Hello Kitty' underwear on] Hello Kitty.

George: I don't think you understand. Me - gonads! You - ovaries!

Izzie: [laughing] Oh, that reminds me. We are out of tampons.

George: You're parading through the bathroom in your underwear, while I'm naked in the shower!

Izzie: Will you add it to your list, please?

George: What?

Izzie: Tampons!

Meredith: To the list. It's your turn.

George: I am a man! I don't buy girl products. I don't want you walking in while I'm in the shower. And I don't want to see you in your underwear!

Izzie: It doesn't bother me, okay? Look at me in my underwear, George. Take your time, it's no big deal.

Alex: Morning, Dr Model.

Izzie: Dr. Evil Spawn.

Alex: Ooh, nice tat. Do they airbrush that out for the catalogs?

Izzie: I don't know. What do they do for the 666 on your skull?

Derek: I thought I might buy you breakfast before your rounds.

Meredith: I've already eaten.

Derek: Oh? What'd you have?

Meredith: None of your business

Derek: Cereal person? Straight out of the box or are you all fruit and fibery? Pancakes! Do you like pancakes?

Meredith: Fine, leftover grilled cheese. Curiosity satisfied?

Derek: That’s sad. It's pathetic. A good day starts with a good breakfast.

Izzie: Mr. Humphrey? Mr. Humphrey, I'm sorry to wake you.

Mr. Humphrey: C'mon! .... What time is it?

Izzie: Ten after five. I'm sorry, I just need to do a brief exam. If you could just sit up for one moment. [He sits up] Thanks. This might be a little bit cold. So just take a deep breath. [He looks at her funny] If you could just take a deep breath.

Mr. Humphrey: You're not a doctor!

Izzie: I'm Dr. Stevens, but you can call me Izzie. I'll be helping Dr. Bailey with your biopsy this morning.

Mr. Humphrey: No, I don't think so.

Izzie: Mr. Humphrey, this will just take a moment.

Mr. Humphrey: No, get me Dr. Bailey or Dr. Victor.

Izzie: I- I just need to do a brief...

Mr. Humphrey: You don't need to do anything. Is this you? [Flips through a magazine, finds the page he's looking for and he shows Izzie a picture in a magazine of herself posing in lingerie for a "Bethany Whisperer" ad] Is this you? It is, isn't it? You know what- go...just--Get out of my room.

Izzie: Mr. Humphrey...

Mr. Humphrey: Get out of my room!

George: There needs to be some rules.

Meredith: So, what we can walk around in our underwear on alternate Tuesdays? Or you could see bras, but not panties? Or are you talking Amish rules? Because if you think you're gonna get Izzie to cover herself...

George: The amount of flesh exposed is not the point. You have to do something, it's your house.

Meredith: It's my mother's house.

George: Meredith!

Meredith: Do you like Izzie? Is that was this is about? You have a crush on Izzie?

George: Izzie? No! I don't like Izzie. No! She's not the one I'm attracted to.

Meredith: Not the one. So there's a one?

Alex: So, Grey and Stevens really walk around in their underwear?

George: Um... Not all the time. I mean, some of the time. But not all the time.

Alex: Sexy underwear?

George: Yeah...

Alex: And they just let you look at them?

George: Well, uh... yeah.

Alex: Like sisters?

George: No! Not like sisters. Uh... no! I don't think of them like sisters.

Alex: But they're not coming on to you?

George: Not exactly.

Alex: They don't expect you to do anything.

George: No... But...

Alex: Like sisters. Just like sisters.

Bailey: You want to tell me what that was all about?

Izzie: Nothing. He's probably just crazy or something. [She hesitates] Bethany Whisper.

Bailey: What?

Izzie: Bethany Whisper. I did a new Bethany Whisper lingerie ad, he saw it in a magazine.

Bailey: You had time to pose for magazines?

Izzie: No, the shoot was last year, it just came out.

Bailey: So, because he saw you in a thong...

Izzie: No! It was not a thong!

Bailey: You're hiding out in the hallway?

Izzie: I just think it might be easier if you assign another intern.

Bailey: Easy is not in your job description. You are a doctor. He is a patient. He's your patient! Biopsy these! If they come back positive, I expect to see you in surgery. You're on this! You hear me?

Alex: [about patient with nails in his head] BWA HA HA! It's Hellraiser!

Derek: What are our options?

George: MRI?

Alex: Brilliant! The guy's got nails in his head, so let's put him in a giant magnet.

Izzie: Here, my share of the grocery money. When are you going?

George: Tonight.

Izzie: Okay. Seriously, George. Please don't...

George: Yeah, could we not talk about it here?

Izzie: What? Tampons?

George: Did you not hear a word I said?

Izzie: You're a man, we know. [Everyone in the room starts to laugh]

Alex: Talk about shrinking the salamander.

Izzie: Tampons, George, I just really needed some tampons!

George: I forgot when I got there.

Izzie: No. [She opens the shower door] No, you are so passive aggressive!

George: Naked! I am naked in the shower!

Izzie: [closes the shower door] Just tampons, George! I really needed tampons. God!

[Meredith walks in]

Izzie: I'm not riding in the same car as him.

Meredith: [looks at Izzie, who is standing in her underwear] Unless you're going like that, you're not riding with me either. Where are the tampons?

Izzie: He didn't buy them.

Meredith: [to George] You didn't buy them?

George: Men don't buy tampons!

Izzie: [opens the shower door again, and George falls over] You know what? You're gonna have to get over the whole man thing, George! We're women! We have vaginas! Get used to it!

George: [lying on the floor in the bathtub] I am not your sister!

Izzie: Fine! Let's look at that tattoo up close and personal, shall we? [She rips off her shirt and throws it at Alex] What are these? Oh, my God! Breasts! How does anybody practice medicine hauling these things around? And what have we got back here? Let’s see if I remember my anatomy. [Takes off her pants] Glutes, right? Let’s study them, shall we? Gather around and check out the booty that put Izzie Stevens through Med. school! Have you had enough or should I continue, because I have a few more very interesting tattoos. You want to call me Dr. Model? That's fine. Just remember that while you're still sitting on Two-Hundred Grand of student loans, I'm out of debt.

Izzie: [She slams down the magazine] This is who I was. It has nothing to do with who I am now. I'm a physician. A surgeon! And I am just as qualified as any other intern on this floor. So you're just going to have to get over your male-chauvinist crap and allow me to do my job.

Mr. Humphrey: I'm sure you're a very good doctor.

Izzie: Then what is your problem?

Mr. Humphrey: Look, I fantasized about you. About the woman in this photo, whoever she is. I'm not proud of it, but it's a fact. Do you know what they're gonna do to me today? I have cancer. And they're gonna lift up my legs and expose me to the world, and cut out my prostate, and my nerves. Effectively neuter me. So is it so hard to understand that I don't want the woman who is in that photo to witness... my...emasculation?

Cristina: [to Izzie] You are eight feet tall. Your boobs are perfect. Your hair is down to there. If I was you I would just walk around naked all the time. I wouldn't have a job, I wouldn't have any skills, I wouldn't even know how to read. I would just be...naked.

Izzie: It's makeup. It's retouching.

Cristina: You get that we hate you, right?

Cristina: Sometimes it’s actually painful, you know, to be around you.

Izzie: Before, when you said, "I am not your sister," did you think I was emasculating you?

George: No. I'm too masculine to be emasculated.

Izzie: I'm sorry.

George: Guess you put Dr. Model to rest?

Izzie: Guess I did.

Bailey: Dr. Victor, I'm sorry, but these are viable nerves. We should save them.

Dr. Victor: It will take at least an hour longer. And we might not get it all.

Izzie: [to George] You know they call him, limp Harry

Bailey: But his prognosis with chemo is nearly as good, and frankly if you're worried about missing tee time, I'll be more than happy to finish. [Izzie enters the OR] Dr. Stevens?

Dr. Victor: Can we help you?

Izzie: I'm sorry, Dr. Bailey. Dr. Victor, I agree with her. You just can't... You have to save the nerves.

Dr. Victor: What?

Izzie: The nerves. You have to save them.

Bailey: Dr. Stevens, I can handle this.

Izzie: No, you told me the most important thing is giving the patient what they want. What Humphrey wants is his erection.

Dr. Victor: [to Dr. Bailey] She's yours. You get her out.

Bailey: I can't do that, sir. You know how these "young puppies" are.

Dr. Victor: I'm going to tell Richard about both of you.

Bailey: You do that. In the meantime, why don't we pretend it's you on this table, and give this a try.

Bailey: [to Izzie] Of course, now you know every time he gets a rise, he'll be thinking of you.

Meredith: [voiceover] I wish there were a rulebook for intimacy. Some kind of guide to tell you when you've crossed the line. It would be nice if you could see it coming, and I don't know how you fit it on a map. You take it where you can get it, and keep it as long as you can. And as for rules, maybe there are none. Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself.

 Shake Your Groove Thing [1.5]

Meredith: [voiceover] Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was, like, if you'd get a bike for your birthday or if you'd get to eat cookies for breakfast? Being an adult? Totally overrated. I mean seriously, don't be fooled by all the hot shoes and the great sex and the no parents anywhere telling you what to do. Adulthood is responsibility. Responsibility, it really does suck. Really, really sucks. Adults have to be places and do things and earn a living and pay the rent. And if you're training to be a surgeon, holding a human heart in your hands, hello? Talk about responsibility. Kind of makes bikes and cookies look really, really good, doesn't it? The scariest part about responsibility? When you screw up and let it slip right through your fingers.

George: Who else did you invite?

Cristina: Izzie, we said the list was jocks only. Surgery, Trauma, Plastics. Who else?

Izzie: Just some people from Peds.

Cristina: You invited the preschoolers to Meredith’s house. The next thing you’ll say is you invited the shrinks. [Izzie looks away] She invited mental defects. This party’s DOA.

Izzie: Mr. Sturman, and how are you feeling?

Mr. Sturman: Pretty okay, except I don't think I ever want to have a bowel obstruction again.

Izzie: Really? Wow. Because we get people in here all the time requesting them.

Derek: Well, let me take you out to dinner tonight. You can tell me all about it. Real food, waiters, big chunks of carbs in a basket.

Meredith: I can’t.

Derek: Forget about the party.

Meredith: You know about the party?

Derek: Your friends will be at the party. You and I can be alone somewhere else.

Meredith: How do you know about the party?

Derek: Thanks for not inviting me, by the way. That felt good. Dinner, think about dinner, perfect opportunity.

Izzie: So the beer’s coming at 7:00 and some of the floor nurses are bringing wine.

Cristina: You invited nurses? Ugh.

George: Did you clear this with Meredith?

Izzie: A few more people isn’t going to make a difference. Okay? A party’s a party.

Cristina: The bigger the party the less time for bad sex with the hockey player.

Izzie: Would you stop saying that.

Cristina: Okay.

Izzie: Hank and I have great sex, all the time. In fact we'll probably have sex after the party, or during the party.

George: As long as you clear it with Meredith.

Izzie: Hank just needs to realize that doctors can have fun. We’re not all workaholics with God complexes.

Cristina: We ARE workaholics with God complexes.

Meredith: We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?

George: You paged me?

Izzie: I’m gonna be a while. Do you think you could get home to sign for the beer?

Alex: Why don’t you have your boyfriend sign for it?

Izzie: You have a very annoying way of sneaking up on people. Maybe if you were a little less creepy.

Alex: I wouldn’t come anyway. I hate big parties.

George: Is Meredith the only person in the hospital who doesn’t know the size of this thing?

Izzie: I’m telling her.

Cristina: You can’t. She’s gone already.

Izzie: What? Already?

Cristina: I think she had, excuse me, an errand to run.

Izzie: You don’t think Meredith’s really going to mind about the party, right?

George: I want you to make it very clear to her that I had nothing to do with this party. Nothing.

Meredith: [Coming home to see the huge party going on] Izzie I'm going to kill you.

Meredith: Where is Izzie?!

George: She didn’t clear it with you?

Meredith: This was supposed to be a meet-the-boyfriend get together little thing

George: I—I—Izzie has a lot of friends.

Meredith: Izzie doesn’t know this many people.

George: I told her to clear it with you.

Meredith: I can’t handle this.

George: You want me to kick everyone out? I’m gonna kick everyone out. [They turn to see Cristina drunk and dancing]

Cristina: Baby! You made it! Woo!

Meredith: Screw it. Hold this. And give me this[She gives George the lamp and takes a bottle of liquor from him]

Cristina:[to Meredith as she gets on the table] Hi, baby! [To George] George! Georgey, come here.

[Meredith hands him the bottle, he takes a long drink and starts dancing, between Meredith and Cristina]

Meredith: [Meredith, George and Cristina are drinking and playing cards] Why did we want to be surgeons anyway?

George: Surgery is very serious business

[Cristina burps loudly. She has two cards stuck to her face]

George: Full House

Cristina: [To George] Royal flush. Get naked. Baby boy! [Cristina throws down her cards. George reluctantly takes off his shirt]

Meredith: Surgery is stupid. It's stupid.

Cristina: [To George, as his strips] You're so sexy. [Taking the bottle from Meredith] Give me that; you're drunk.

Meredith: I'm not driving. I'm not on call. I'm in my own house. My life is crap. It's my party and I'll get drunk if I want to.

Hank: Is, uh, Izzie Stevens...

Cristina: You must be Hank... he's very large and hockey-like. No, Izzie's not here right now.

George: You and Izzie will give birth to very tall blonde people. Kind of like Barbies.

Hank: Izzie said she was going to be at home, she didn't say there was gonna be a party.

Meredith: Which pisses both of us off. Would you like some tequila? It helps.

Hank: When do you think she’s gonna get here?

Meredith: Don’t know. But we’re low on ice, Hank.

Hank: I’m serious.

Meredith: So am I. We’re interns, Hank. Hospital owns us. It’s what we do. [Hank smiles and leaves]

George: Bye.

Meredith: Nice to meet you.

Derek: [Arrives at Meredith's house and finds her drinking tequila and dancing in her front lawn] You know, in some states, you could get arrested for that. So you blew me off for a bottle of tequila? Tequila's no good for you. It doesn't call, doesn't write, not nearly as much fun to wake up to. [They start kissing]

Meredith: Take me for a ride, Derek.

Derek: Sounds like the party's winding down. We should probably sneak inside now.

Meredith: I think we've done enough sneaking for tonight. It was good sneaking, but enough sneaking.

Derek: Yeah, I'd say we're pretty good sneakers.

Bailey: [As they are about to kiss she knocks on the window] You mind moving this tail wagon? You are blocking me in.

Derek: Apparently not good enough.

Izzie: [coming home to see Meredith drunk at the party] Holy Mother of Destruction.

Meredith: You missed Doctor Palooza.

Izzie: Apparently you didn't.

Meredith: I should probably never speak to you again.

[Izzie picks up a cup from the coffee table]

George: Do you even know who’s that was?

Izzie: I’m hoping it was yours

George: Nope.

Meredith: [voiceover] Responsibility, it really does suck. Unfortunately, once you get past the age of braces and training bras, responsibility doesn't go away. It can't be avoided. Either someone makes us face it or we suffer the consequences. And still adulthood has it perks. I mean the shoes, the sex, the no parents anywhere telling you what to do. That's, pretty damn good.

 If Tomorrow Never Comes [1.6]

Meredith: [voiceover] A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. “Never leave that till tomorrow”, he said, “Which you could do today.” This is the man who discovered electricity. You’d think more of us would listen to what he had to say. I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d say it had a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure. Fear of pain. Fear of rejection. Sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you’re wrong? What if you make a mistake you can’t undo? Whatever it is we're afraid of, one thing holds true: that by the time the pain of not doing the thing gets worse than the fear of doing it. It can feel like we're carrying around a giant tumor. And you thought I was speaking metaphorically.

George: [George is carrying coffee to Meredith's room, but ends up spilling the coffee all over himself] Ah! Hot!

Izzie: Wouldn't it be easier to just ask her out?

George: She's gonna be late

Izzie: Maybe not

George: We should wait for her

Izzie: Definitely not. I'm not her mother and you are not her boyfriend, [Grinning] not yet anyways.

George: Stop, ok, I told you I'm not interested.

Izzie: Life is short George, do you really want to die before you ask her out?

George: I do not want to ask her out.

Izzie: Do you really want to die a liar?

George: I’m not … dying.

Meredith: [Upon seeing Derek] Crap.

Derek: Crap?

Meredith: Hi!... I'm late.

Derek: You're avoiding me.

Meredith: Yes, but also late.

Derek: Are we gonna talk about this?

Meredith: No.

Derek: About us and Bailey and what she saw.

Meredith: I don't need to talk about it I experienced it... naked.

Derek: This is getting complicated.

Meredith: Complicated for me. I'm the intern sleeping with the attending. Bailey isn't speaking to me anymore.

Derek: Well, not that that's a bad thing. If I was a better guy, I'd walk away.

Meredith: Yes you would.

Derek: Do you want me to be a better guy?

Meredith: Yes. [Pause] No. [Pause] Crap! I'm late.

Derek: Take your time. Think about it.

Cristina: [To Burke after sleeping with him] That was definitely worth being late.

Cristina: [to Meredith] Oh, please, a hot doctor wants to make you open up and say ah. It’s the American dream, stop whining about it

Meredith: No, there's no good that can come from sleeping with your boss.

Derek: Miranda.

Bailey: Excuse me?

Derek: Well, that's your name right? It's on your jacket. Fine, I'll just call you Bailey then.

Bailey: You know you think you charming, in that talented, neurotic, overly moussed hair sort of way. Good for you. But if you think I'm gonna stand back and watch while you favor her...

Derek: I don't favor her. She's good.

Bailey: I'm sure she is.

Derek: You know, can I point out, technically, I'm your boss.

Bailey: You don't scare me. Look, I'm not gonna advertise your extracurricular activates with my intern. However next time I see you favoring Meredith Grey in any way, I'll make sure she doesn't see the inside of an OR. For a month. Just for the sake of balance!

Annie: [to George] Seriously? You're equating your pathetic love life with my record-breaking tumor? Seriously?

Derek: You know they call you the Nazi.

Bailey: So I've heard.

Cristina: If I stab this fork into his thigh will I get in trouble?

Meredith: Not if you make it look like an accident.

Meredith: It is your life, but it’s her life too.

Izzie: [to a patient after he throws up on Alex] You are so my favorite person today.

Cristina: If they pull this off, I'm totally calling Oprah.

Meredith: Dr. Shepherd? I'm sorry I called you a jackass.

Shepherd: [looks confused] You didn't.

Meredith: I did...twice.

Meredith: Are you really as shallow and callous as you seem?

Alex: Want to grab a drink and hear about my secret pain?

Meredith: Does that line ever work for you?

Alex: Sometimes.

Meredith: Oh. Must be because you look like that.

Alex: Like what? [She gives him a look and he laughs] So is that a yes?

Meredith: No. I can't, I'm seeing someone.

Alex: Look, if you don't want to go out with me just say so, you don't need to lie.

Meredith: Oh Okay. I don't want to go out with you... and I think I might be seeing someone.

Izzie: [to Alex] You are hateful! [Throws his pager down, jumps up and down on it] Hateful! Hateful, arrogant, lazy . . . hateful man! Hateful!

Derek: Well, never a dull moment here at Seattle Grace. Scalpel.

Burke: What is this? That we’re doing here. What is it?

Cristina: You need a definition? You really want to be that guy?

Burke: Lock the door.

Meredith: [voiceover] The early bird catches the worm; a stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we haven't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to ‘seize the day'. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves like Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying.

 The Self Destruct Button [1.7]

Meredith: [voiceover] Ok. Anyone who says you can sleep when you die, tell them to come talk to me after a few months as an intern. Of course, it's not just the job that keeps us up all night. I mean, if life's so hard already, why do we bring more trouble down on ourselves? What's up with the need to hit the self-destruct button?

George: You get any sleep?

Izzie: She should oil the bedsprings, as a courtesy, or at least buy a padded headboard.

George: So, who's the guy?

Izzie: You think it was just one guy doing all that work?

George: Do you mind if I don't think about that?

Izzie: Aw, you jealous?

George: I'm not jealous.

Izzie: Well, I am. Least I know she'll be having a long day at work. [They see Derek leave] Well, at least we know brain surgery isn't his only skill.

Cristina: Do tell.

Meredith: There's nothing to tell.

Cristina: That says it all.

Meredith: Sorry, I have a sex life.

Alex: Don't apologize, embrace it, share it. Count me in.

Izzie: Yeah, next time, just let me know if I need to go to a hotel so I can get some sleep.

Meredith: Am I missing something?

George: Just a little loud.

Cristina: Do they know McDreamy's the one that's been keeping them up all night?

Meredith: I hope not. I've already got Bailey riding me. I don't need my roommates too.

Mom of seizure girl: Doctor, is he good, this Dr. Shepherd?

George: At just about everything.

Burke: Seriously, I'll give you a ride home.

Cristina: This isn't going to make me go home! You go home!

Burke: But I feel fine?

George: Hey, have you seen Shepherd?

Izzie: Not as up close as Meredith has.

George: Hey, are you trying to get her in trouble? She's our friend.

Izzie: George this program will make or break our careers, some of us will make it through and some of us won't. And that decision depends entirely on recommendations from doctors like Shepherd. There is a reason we don't sleep with the attendings.

George: It's not her fault, it's Shepherd's. He's an attending, he should know better. He's taking advantage of her.

Izzie: It didn't exactly sound like anything was happening against her will last night.

George: Yang. I'm scrubbing in on a hemospherectomy with Shepherd.

Cristina: [gasp] Get out! I would kill for that.

George: We're cutting out half the girl's brain, and it's going to work. It's outrageous. Almost makes it kind of hard to hate him.

Cristina: Why do you hate him?

George: Oh, no reason.

Cristina: Oh, you know about him and Meredith?

George: You know?

Cristina: When are you gonna figure out that I know everything?

George: [To Izzie who is walking up the stairs] She knows.

Izzie: Oh, about doctorcest?

Cristina: It's been going on for, like, ever.

Izzie: Seriously?

George: And you didn't tell us?

Cristina: Oh, you're a gossip, huh?

George: I am not!

Izzie: I am!

George: He's about to go into major brain surgery on no sleep? That's not very responsible.

Cristina: Jealous? Sex all night isn't about being responsible.

Izzie: No, it's about sex all night. I can't believe you're not pissed off about this, you of all people.

Cristina: Well, she works hard all day. She's good at her job, why should you care how she unwinds? I mean you like to bake all night, others like to drink, others like an occasional screaming orgasm.

Alex: [Walking up] Yeah we do.

Cristina: You look like Alex.

Bailey: While you're down here, you have post-ops waiting.

Meredith: I know Dr. Bailey

Bailey: Cristina's got the flu so you've got to pick up the slack in the clinic.

Meredith: Look I'll mop the floors, okay? ... Sorry, that was inappropriate.

Bailey: That's not the only thing that's inappropriate. While we're on the subject, you care to tell me what you think you're doing?

Meredith: Look I'll jump through your hoops, if you want me to. But what I do when I leave this hospital is my business.

Bailey: Half this hospital knows your business. Flu isn't the only virus spreading around here.

Meredith: I made a choice. And I know you don't respect me for that choice, but I'll live with the consequences.

Bailey: Then I'll have lots of hoops for you to jump through.

Meredith: I've done everything you asked me to do. I may not do it your way, but it gets done. So whatever else you've got, bring it on. [The patient's stomach is emptied in her face]

Bailey: Okay, Dr. Grey, now that you've drained the organ, you can attempt to repair it.

Meredith: Now... my day... is perfect.

Meredith: What is your problem?

Izzie: Um, you. Because apparently you can help "Dr. McDreamy" in ways the rest of us can't

Meredith: You did not just say that--

Izzie: Yes... I did

Bailey: Apparently I'm not the only one with hoops.

Meredith: She gets good grades. She stays out of trouble. She’s smart. I just think she feels like nothing she does is good enough for you

Mother: If you somehow think that I'm responsible for this…

Meredith: I think Claire is killing herself, to please you.

Mother: Oh, please. You have no idea what’s going on in that girl's mind.

Meredith: You're her mother. She worships the ground you walk on. She didn’t do this for herself

Mother: [to her husband] I think that this situation is completely ridiculous-

Father: [interrupting] Tina, shut up. [Walks off]

Derek: George, let me explain.

George: It’s fine.

Derek: No, there is a code among doctors. We're not supposed to ask each other questions, not within the walls of this hospital.

George: Ok, I was out of line.

Derek: No you weren't, I was. I was out of line. Somebody should have taken responsibility and it should have been the guy doing the cutting. It should have been me. You didn’t deserve what happened to you today, you did the right thing, code or no code.

George: [to Derek, about Meredith] She's pretty great you know

Meredith: You don't know this yet, but life isn’t supposed to be like this. It’s not supposed to be this hard

Izzie: If you wait a few minutes you can have a piece of cake. Baked it chock-full of love, actually chock-full of unrelenting, all-consuming rage and hostility, but still tasty.

Meredith: So you know.

Izzie: I know.

Izzie: You have their respect, without even trying and you're throwing it away... for what? A few good surgeries?

Meredith: No, it’s not about the surgeries, it’s not about getting ahead

Izzie: Then what, a little hot sex? You're willing to ruin your credibility over that? I mean Meredith, what the hell are you doing? [Meredith rolls her eyes] Oh my god... you’re falling for him.

Meredith: I am not.

Izzie: Oh you so are.

Meredith: No, I'm not.

Izzie: So are... Dammit. You poor girl.

Meredith: you know it’s just that he’s just so, and I'm just ...I'm having a hard time.

Izzie: You're all, uh, mushy and warm and full of secret feelings. [hands a slice of cake to Meredith]

Meredith: I hate you! And I hate your cake!

Izzie: No, the cake is good.

Izzie: So, uh, how hot is the sex?

Meredith: Izzie.

Izzie: What? C’mon, I'm not getting any. Help a girl out with a few details.

Meredith: [voiceover] Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know, maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.

 Save Me [1.8]

Meredith: You know when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales? That fantasy of what your life would be – white dress, prince charming who’d carry you away to a castle on a hill. You’d lie in your bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa clause, the tooth fairy, prince charming –they were so close you could taste them. But eventually you grow up and one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely because almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope and faith that one day they would open their eyes and it would all come true.

Cristina: Ok you know the talking part?

Lady at Abortion Clinic: Yeah?

Cristina: I’m not interested.

Other Interns: He thinks his seizures are visions

Psychic Guy: Hello, they’re not seizures, I’m psychic.

Cristina: Yeah, and I’m a chicken.

Derek: I'm a surgeon, I don't have any friends.

Meredith: [Wanting more details about Derek's life] I want facts, and until I get them, my pants are staying on.

Derek: Or you could just roll with it, be flexible. See what happens.

Meredith: I'm not flexible.

Derek': [laughs] Now there I disagree...We'll find these things out. That's the fun part, you know? That's the gravy.

Meredith: [Again looking for more details about Derek] Give me something to go on. Anything! What are your grandparents’ names?

Derek: I don't have grandparents.

Meredith: Where'd you grow up? What's your favorite flavor of ice cream? Where'd you spend your summer vacations?

Derek: Ah, lighten up. It'll be good for your blood pressure. [Stands and leaves Meredith alone]

Meredith: Oh don't you tell me to lighten up. I'll lighten up when I... feel light.

Cristina: Dr. Bailey, I want off the psychic case, I'll take whatever you've got. Can I switch?

Bailey: Ask nicely.

Cristina: What-- this is me doing nicely.

Meredith: Well, you were wrong. You don't always get what you expect do you.

Mr. Duff:: You're into me. I can tell. Dr. Small and Angry was a hot appetizer, but you doc are a smorgasbord of lust.

George: How’s a pompous cocky jackass like you always have women all over him?

Alex: Little bluebell pills. Lots of them.

George: Oh c'mon.

Alex: Float like a butterfly sting like a bee. O'Malley, you think too much, can’t you see it? You gotta dance and jab, dance and jab! Like me. I am the Ali of this place.

Pregnant Woman with Breast Cancer: You have quite the bedside manner, you know that right?

Cristina: Look, if you think you’re gonna get any, think again. I'm not in the mood.

Burke: I'm not in the mood either.

Cristina: Good. What do you want?

Burke: Nothing, just haven't seen you all day.

Cristina: So I'm working.

Burke: I've never done a bovine replacement before, I don't know what I'm doing.

Cristina: Look it up, research it and get someone to assist you.

Burke: It’s not that easy.

Cristina: This is a problem that has a solution Burke, there are a lot of problems that don't.

Meredith: You know, you keep taking everything on faith. How do you know what’s real and what’s not.

Derek: You just do. You know some people would call this a relationship. Time when you exchange keys, leave your toothbrush over.

Meredith: Who, who would call it that?

Derek: Me, I would.

Meredith: And I’m supposed to believe you. Show me something. Give me a reason to believe.

Pregnant Woman with Breast Cancer: It’s our decision and that’s ok.

Cristina: So why do you need my approval?

Pregnant Woman with Breast Cancer: I just want you to understand.

Cristina: Well, I don’t.

Meredith: I tried to talk Dr Shepherd out of that clot surgery. What is wrong with me?

Alex: Basically, you tried to kill a guy.

Cristina: [to Alex] Basically, you're an ass.

George: [pointing to his hospital ID card] This is George, George has a hot date.

Meredith': [voiceover] At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don’t really expect it. It’s like one day you realize that the fairy tale is slightly different than your dream. The castle, well it may not be a castle. And it’s not so important that it’s happily ever after – just that it’s happy right now. See, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. And once in a while, people may even take your breath away.

 Who's Zoomin' Who? [1.9]

Meredith: [voiceover] Secrets can't hide in science. Medicine has a way of exposing lies. Within the walls of the hospital, the truth is stripped bare. How we keep our secrets outside the hospital – well, that’s a little different. One thing is certain, whatever it is we're trying to hide; we're never ready for that moment when the truth gets naked. That's the problem with secrets – like misery, they love company. They pile up and up until they take over everything, until you don't have room for anything else, until you're so full of secrets you feel like you're going to burst.

Izzie: [Knocking on the door] George. You locked the door I need to take a shower.

George: Uh...uh, I'll be out in a minute.

Izzie: What are you doing in there?

George: It's private!

Izzie: Oh! Oh, god, I get it. I'm sorry. [Smirks] I didn't mean to interrupt.

George: No, it's not that.

Izzie: It's ok. Take your time.

George: I am not doing what you think I'm doing.

Izzie: [laughs softly] You know what there really isn't a need to explain, you just...finish.

George: No...I'm coming. I'm coming out! [Izzie laughs]

Izzie: [After he comes out of the bathroom] There's no reason to be ashamed. It's normal, healthy even.

George: I am not ashamed. 'Cause I wasn't doing anything. I don't have to. I have a girlfriend.

Izzie: An imaginary girlfriend?

George: An actual girlfriend.

Izzie: You know what? It's no big deal, you don't have to lie. I get it. You have needs.

Meredith: What is going on out here?

Izzie & George: Nothing. [He walks away]

Izzie: [To Meredith] He's freaked out because I caught him playing with little Jimmy and the twins.

George: [Turns around] I have a girlfriend. [Walks away]

Izzie: Ok. [Laughs]

Derek: [Appearing from Meredith's bedroom] It sounds like fun out here.

Alex: I know I’m pretty to look at and all George, but back up.

Izzie: You got syphilis?

George: I don’t know how this happened.

Izzie: Of course you do. God, Olivia must be really getting around.

George: Olivia, she’s not like that.

Izzie: It’s the new millennium, George, the only people who aren’t like that are the Amish…and apparently you.

George: You don’t know. Maybe I’ve been sleeping around. Maybe I got ladies. [Izzie smirks] Shut up! What am I gonna do?

Izzie: It’s no biggie, a couple doses of penicillin will knock it right out.

George: What am I gonna do about Olivia?

Izzie: Well, for starters, stop sleeping with her. Unless, you want that thing to fall off. [Laughs]

George: Ok, that is twice that you trash talked the girl I could one day potentially…lo--well not love but like a whole lot.

Izzie: If she gave it to you, you have to tell her.

George: Three.

Izzie: Fine! She didn’t give it to you. She was a virgin when you met. And you still have to tell her so she can get tested.

George: Oh yeah? How am I gonna tell her? “Hey Olivia, how are you? Oh, by the way I got the syph, how about you?”

Izzie: Well, maybe not quite like that.

George: No, no! It’s good advice, really good advice, thank you very much.

Alex: [To George after he got syphilis] Who gave you the cooties on the playground?

George: God, he's got an ovary?

Alex: Gives a whole new meaning to metro sexual.

Cristina: Hey Syph-boy!

George: You told her?

Izzie: Just Cristina.

Alex: Syph-boy. It's got a nice ring to it; kind of like Super-boy, only diseased.

Alex: Everybody’s got a secret, just be glad yours is out in the open

Cristina: Oh yeah Alex, what’s yours?

Alex: Show me yours and I'll show you mine [Cristina makes a face as Burke walks by] I bet you've got some seriously kinky skeletons in your closet

Cristina: What’s in my closet is none of your business

Izzie: Well I don't have any secrets, my life is boring

Meredith: Everybody’s got something to hide. [Everyone looks at her]

George: Are you sure you know what you're doing?

Alex: It's a shot of penicillin George. Be grateful that I am doing this. I've already seen more of you than I ever wanted to. I'll fight the nightmares for a week.

George: Ok. You know what? Forget this.

Alex: Do you want to get rid of the syph or not? Then shut up and drop it.

George: [Whispers] Can't believe I'm doing this.

George: [Meredith walks in] Meredith! Go away!

Meredith: Oh George. I thought you could use some moral support.

George: No. No moral support. I'm indisposed here!

Meredith: George. It's not a big deal. And you have a cute butt.

Alex: I have a cute butt too. Want to see?

Meredith: Oh get out you're doing it wrong.

Alex: Be my guest.

George: What- Alex. Alex! What-?

George: Hey!

Izzie: Oh. What are we doing here?

George: Breaking George's spirit.

Meredith: Curing George's syph.

George: I don't like needles.

Meredith: Good thing you became a doctor. Other side.

Cristina: Izzie?

Izzie: Yeah.

Cristina: Mr. Franklin's procedure's been scheduled for after lunch--

George: No. No!

Cristina: Oh what are we doing?

Izzie: We are saving George from a future of festering sores and insanity.

Cristina: Cute butt.

Meredith: Told you.

Izzie: It is cute. Like a baby's.

George: You know I've spent hours, days, years, imagining myself half naked in a room with 3 women? The reality is so much better. [He walks away]

Cristina: I think he's going to cry!

Patricia: [at the hospital's safe sex demonstration] When the time is right and gentleman, you'll all know when that time is, carefully open the condom packet and roll it onto the banana.

Cristina: You know, I think he really likes Typhoid Mary

Meredith: Not many budding relationships survive a good dose of VD

Patricia: [Holding a protected banana] With every fresh banana, always use a fresh condom.

Burke: Why are you in this line?

Cristina: It’s the syphilis line

Burke: You don’t need to be in this line

Cristina: I don’t?

Burke: There’s no one else. That surprises you?

Cristina: Nothing surprises me

Burke: Do I need to be in this line?

Cristina: No

Burke: Ok then

Cristina: Ok

Derek: Can you keep a secret?

Meredith: Better than you think

Derek: How goes our special super secret silent sunset surgery? ... I've been practicing that.

Bailey: You have too much time on your hands.

Meredith: So just for the record, you’d tell me if I need to get tested, right?

Derek: [whispers] You think I have syphilis?

Meredith: No, I don't. It's just...I mean we never made any rules or anything…we never said we had rules and I wouldn’t hold it against you.

Derek: When would I have time to go out and get syphilis? You’re a handful enough as it is. And besides we’re practically a condom ad.

Meredith: [in a sad pouty voice] Yeah...But no more glow-in-the-dark ones.

Derek: You see? There’s nothing to worry about. Maybe we should, you know, make some rules.

Meredith: We should.

Derek: Ok.

Meredith: Ok.

Derek: Just for the record…I like the glow-in-the-dark ones.

Meredith: [laughs] I bet you do.

[In OR]

Burke: Bill is sterile?

Gynecology Surgeon: And always has been.

George: So who got his wife pregnant? [Silence] Oh.

George: [to Alex]You're such a gossip!

Cristina: OK, I’m in.

Meredith: I am so not involved in this.

Cristina: Meredith, this is Fight Club, nobody talks about it.

Cristina: If I am missing out on a real procedure because of this, they are going to call me 007 because I killed you.

Bailey: Oh you are lying. I know you’re lying. You know how I know? Cause you’re a bad liar

George: [to Alex] You gave me syphilis!

Derek: Somewhere out there is a steak with your name on it, and maybe a bottle of wine.

Meredith: This is why I keep you around.

Derek: So, we need to talk.

Meredith: Wine first, talk later.

Derek: Oh, so you’re trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me.

Derek: [sees Addison] Meredith, I am so sorry. [Addison walks over] Addison. What are you doing here?

Addison: Well you'd know if you'd bothered to return any one of my phone calls. [Turns to Meredith] Hi. I'm Addison Shepherd.

Meredith: Shepherd?

Addison: And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband.

Meredith: [voiceover] The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free. Whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open, like it or not. And once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore. The problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control, you're not.